The Night Looks Darker Today. The Moon Seems - More Grey.

Dear All Punctured Tyres.
Its late in the night, and I'm just back after explaining in detail - the - Most vivacious and searched for features in a girl they should search for me. My marriage has become the central theme of my - Life these days ...and from - The tall mountains, to the dry plains, from the dusky villages, to the Tribal zones, marriage - Of - Prakul -- offcourse not me ..... is ringing more often than the Church Bell itself.
I live a life of a monk. Disconnecting and connecting with people like - cheese does with sandwich. Chewed from all the corners, trying to uplift a few in pain, but the more - I travel ahead in this mystery of life, the more - enlightened and more confused I keep growing - of What lies ahead.
Is what I feel bad - actually bad, or what I feel good actually good ? This question - keeps haunting me - When I try and differentiate between - Those I call friends, and Those huge lots - I mention to be my foes.
For instance, take this question of buying a new vehicle - I keep going to all these - Car websites of India - Whose very names shall confuse you - if you are searching for a car --- or for a girl - to get married or settled with --- lets see:

1. cardekho dot com
2. carwale dot com
3. carazoo dot com
4. gaadi dot com

and to cut it short - a whole lot of bunch of all such - wonder car sellers.

Reading the reviews shall give you a headache ------ not because - the reviews are not good or whatever -

1. You'll be spoofed to one corner of the room - Ki bhai - NRI bandey kya English boltey hai ... and to top it - Kya zabardast likhtey hai
2. How one gentleman went to the top of a mountain - in the Car --- which was actually his test drive .... to the level - it Was his purchased vehicle --- Alas ! He was not given any test drive
3. How one person - asks - all other - Readers to keep away from Such cars - as He thinks - after keeping sucha thing for 10 years of his life - He was doped into doing this .... Usne apne prayashchit ka tarika .... Yeh Nikala - mein Teen ke dibbe se dil laga loonga ....10 years ke liye --- Is this emotionalism ...ahead of Nationalism ...?

Alas, I went in for a reel - when I read this. And I plan - ya to main - Ab car kharidne ki Kwahish ko - Ab - Ek khoobsoorat chadar pehna ke - kamrey ke ek kone mein rakh doon.... Ya - the second thought that crosses my Mind - ki - mujh jaise - Ladke ---jo Gaadi ko dekh kar - daure khane lagtey hai ---

Unhe unke sasur - Shaadi - ke us atyant gamasan evam bhayankar mahaul - mein - Aur bhi - chaukaa dene ke liye Kehtey hai - 'Manyavar - Ladki - ko le jaa rahe ho. Suck se rakhogey. Ek kaam aur karo - Is gaadi ko bhi apna lo.....' and the boy feels - 'Ladki - abhi saari sabzi katwaegi ... poortey mall ko lootne ke plan banwaegi ----- aur jab mein in sab Iraadon mein na-kamyaab ho chuka hounga - To phir - Apki yeh - Lohe ki saugaat - Mujhe - Mere ardhsatya - se door - Poorna Satya - ki or bhej degi' ..... kya hai woh satya -

"Lohe ki gaadi pe lohe ka ghoda hai" "Khoon iske jism mein bacha bahut thoda hai" "Jisko chalana ho ghode ko lohe ko" "laat maro kheech ke - Yeh ! bin pende ka katora hai" ....

Now the punch,

"Ek poorana e-mail - aj kai din baad - Mail box - mein bhatakta hua aa jata hai" - likha hai

- "Mai apki itni ijjat karti hoon - ki maine apse baat karna chod diya n to top it up - Meri shaadi ab jaldi hi honey wali hai" - "Aur isi liye maine apse yeh jhoot nahi bola" - "meri shaadi honey wali hai" ...... and hence "Mai jitney logon ki ijjat karti hun - Mera matlab hota hai - Ki ab hamari kabhi baat nahin hogi - aur isse bhi bada matlab hai - ki mai jo Shaadi kar rahi hun" .... Uski ijjat ab mere haath mein hai ????

Today, I don't want to philosophisize over this ? People do what they want to do. Blame n number of factors for what didn't happen with them. Curse the Devil ... and Praise God - for every pain and pleasure - respectively - they undergo ..... But - in all this while - in their circle - of - Broken Faith - and Tilted Humanity - they never understand - That this guy or girl keeps calling me names, keeps calling my number, keeps calling my Box - not because he/she is not like my arrogant cousins who mis-behave with me, not like my own Uncles who never correspond with me, not like my lost friends - who never bother if I'm alive - but, he wants that circle of my attention, in which I live - alone - With my pains, my loneliness and my scarifices. People forget - that we - Mis-interpret those - who keep sending us signals - and start interpreting a world - instead - that doesn't exists. In, the mall I see a girl - she smiles at me. I smile at her. I ask her phone, I see her off. When two weeks pass - I'm trying for a new number. I often ponder - can - Love be there - at places - Relationships are in the form of lust and disgust, in the form of hungry waiters looking at you, or in the parks where - The Battered Policeman - Is Searching for A Bench - to warm his butt. In India - its a big mis-understanding - That love marriages - and love affairs are - in tune or hype. Largely - love in India - is that war between the stomach and the desire - that - lonely boys and girls, unattended males and females fight on a daily basis. And it is not incorrect to say - In India - people only love their own self, because beyond them - They have a Stone .... A Statue - A Tomb or a Cold Desert Valley on High Hills --- because such things never ask for anything, they have no emotions, they cannot breathe, they cannot sympathize. They atmost what they can do is - Give nothing to the people - Who can give nothing to the Gods. Myth and reality - never share the same ground. Lust and love can never go together.

The only question I could have asked this girl ever would have been - "Don't you think - we can together make a difference to this Town we live in, To this country we owe, to the people I call my brothers ????" but, I'm sure - if I had done that - She would have answered - I can't love a something in Flesh n Bone - I'm doomed to love stones, I'm dooned to love statues, I'm doomed to love the deserts ..... and the best part - When I couldn't do anything to feed my hunger - I called Hunger - my nature. I started to praise Hunger. I sang some songs in hunger so hard - that my child died without milk or biscuit, but because - His death - was inadvertently his destiny - I continue - to ask the Stone in me - when shall we meet in Heaven.

I might have written certain things, that might not appeal to a few people. Becasue I know, for them God is in the non-living, dead and metamorphosized. But, for me - God is all around me - Inside me in my brain. Inside me in my tongue. Inside me in my soul. I don't ditch people for God. I don't ditch God for devil. And, I never ditch - The devil for destiny.

If man was perfect - why couldn't - he replicate a moon till date. If man was imperfect - why is Taj Mahal - the centre of atttraction of the world ??

If man is human - Why can't he hold the hand of people - Who need him, instead of - Crying before stone, that would eventually - Give them - Scratches .............

And, today - I don't have any pictures to post. Because - Now, life for me - shall move - beyond - the - Outer Crust ................ Good People are not just those - Who are good looking - This is Myth ....

Love and Regards,

Urs Beloved PM - The great Punctured Tyre...

whoa - keep coming back ...

In the corner of the lounge - they say there is fire - I say - Desire

WHEN WE THINK THE WORLD HAS STOPPED ! THE EARTH IS STILL REVOLVING .................................................................................



PASSING THROUGH A PERSONAL CRISIS OF - INDECISION - WHEN GOD AND SATAN - ARE REVEALING IN EQUAL MEASURES TO ME

I have been a witness to an event when my house turned into a Village - unlike the - Chokhi Dhani or Pind - where people come to believe in Something or Leave behind a legacy - This was a get to gether of Relatives - of al kinds -

1). One's you meet for the first time - and wonder - Why did we meet ??

2). One's you keep meeting thrice a year - And wonder - Do we know each other well ??

3). Third - The one's - Who don't believe - they are relatives - rather they are - Guavas - Which-ever head they fall onto - They are sure to break.

But, there is also one kind - I faced this time - and that was the - list of those - Who - Came and Went - and I lost nothing - except - gratitude and respect for them - for they - Not only did what - relatives are supposed to do, but, I'm sure - they - are the one's - God plans to be our relatives in the next trip (u know hat I mean).....

The vendors are still dawning every second day - not able to get either to ask for the money of whatever services they offered on that day, or asking for forgiveness of their past birth sins they are able to understand for which God - kicked their butts - on the Day - by Raining harsh.

In any case - whatever - this list might translate into - I am very happy to Have Sonal (my sis) go into a home - Where people are well above such petty - Non-Sense issues like the color of the curtain and - Weight of the car .... but they love to go to Puri - every time they get an opportunity - a place from where - The ocean - Sees you large in the eye, and these little fishermen - riding - the waves just as the Soldiers would ride their Patton Tanks...

Neelanchal - this is what the locals of Puri call their little place as - God's have different meaning here. Love a totally different meaning. And colors - You have to be blind to the daily chores befor eGod gives you those eyes to - Go ahead and see - What Orissa is made up of. Food is finger-licking good. People - so nice - they might leave their - Hut for you to relax, the only thing - Don't act over-smart.....

Now the punch line

Inbetween this Tsunami of relatives hovering from everywhere, I was all being tumbled in and out of - Old/Could Be/Would Be - type of relationship scenarios, and then suddenly, this ::::: The eyes - That can kill you, the Sound that can finish you ....and The Saree - its not a Saree Shop - its the big - Women Kent Mall of Bangalore - where every saree is Worth - the people who show it to you - Because they don't sell it to you - They - Give it to you --- Like a gift .....

Mrichika (name changed) - manages the Banquets at a Hotel and - will be getting married in three months from now, and I was shell shocked this beauty in Allahabad - Known more - over - for "Karva Chauth" and "Papad Kheer" kind of parties and all these Kayastha ladies - little over-weight trying to Prove they are still the best (some going over the top - with ugly Tatoos and out-dated hair-styles) - and inbetween this - This lady marmalade - Dancing on the floors of the - Pale - and over whitish hotel at Allahabad. I, as usual - tongue-tied and taking in all the lucid remarks possibly I can get from her and her very poky - kind of colleagues .... Ek azad mard - aur uski chahat ka dar - keval woh hi samajh sakta hai - Mai karta bhi kya .....

I wrote a full bang on letter - and kept in the Pocket - but the rocket - Misfired .....

Today - me and my - Lady Air-Hostess are landing in all different locations as possible. I am in the restaurent - she is in the lobby. I'm raking all over the lobble - She's moved to the counter behind Reception. I'm seeking to reach her at the Lobby Desk - she has left with her - Cell Phone to another - part of the hotel .... and possibly all other staff - searching for an iron stick - to kill - The WIld Beast. ....i wonder

The the dream date happens - When - I alongwith a "Priest in the hotel" and my "Chirpy Friend Ashu" are having Coffee ....and the idea - passes my Head - why not go and see some - Hotel - wahi to dikhayegi !!! wah ....

And, I am out of my seat ---- consoling these two wonderful people besides me .... but Cloud Burst happens when - Instead of the Air-Hostess - I have this - jatt-mix-hindi - (a much more horrid version than Bhojpuri with Awadhi mixed) appears - and tells me - Mai leke chalta hun (I felt - mein yahan se nikalta hun) ... but you know coutesies....

But, when after a 10 minutes halt at the various - Unused rooms of this Hotel - I asked her to come her seat and I needed to talk to her .... Parineeta - And the Dog - Manager are finally upfront. We stare each other - My lips move - as if they'll fall - like the leaves of the old oak, and I ask her - What's Your Story ...? And she says I'm not mad - to be here - in this Crispy town - leaving Delhi - I have not come here without purpose, and I shall not be left alone ... I asked her --- meaning ???? She smoked - 'February - I'm boarding a plane to Rwanda, with a pilot who doesn't knows flying - but off-course - He's - The Flight Minister's - chosen Nephew .... ' alas .....

I - in all my life have never had - This feeling - I was drowning /// I was getting fired - from an AK - 47 and then - Somebody was applying - Amrutanjan Balm on my - Cuts - I didn't cry - and that is what I Did most. I felt like that Pilot - Whose License - has been curbed - mid-air and - He's been asked - to kindly drop out in a parachute ... and that is what I did - excatly .....

November 01, 2010 - will become a historical date in my life - When I lost a someone - I would have never wished to lose ... To - time / Destiny ....or for that Matter ---- those I love even ....

But, God tells you at these moments - I am here - my Child - Dance before me ..... and I feel - I would be doing it now .... My uric acid is well ahead of its metric values and such episodes - might bring in the Mighty Heart and the Crumpy Liver in tango ...and I might be the next - "Most Enlightened and Most Flowered Grave" of the next All Saints Day ......!

THE MOTTO

Go to the Church and look for more - Dull and Ugly - aunts with more Dull and Ugly daughters, they might find you to be the Graviera Mr. India ... or else ----- Marry a - Tamilian (atleast their shall be silence in the house) - Why - tamilians only eat --- They don't talk .....

In any case ...... my purpose of writing such stories is that - people are full of flaws (specially those who believe they are perfect), but this belief that they are perfect ofteb helps them understand theie shortcomings in such a way - That - they start appreciating life not from a Gloden Binocular but froma broken bangle - its still beautiful .....

And a few lines for - My Lost Air - Hostess

Its not a flight, its not a kite,

We can board, we can hold,

But, its a blanket, its a pickle,

We can taste a bit, But still we can fold ............

And feel warm ...

LIFE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LIFE IF THESE THINGS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED

SO LET THEM HAPPEN .................

Take Care .... n Keep reading

do leave me comments - they help me move

P - the tyre

THE GREAT MARRIAGE. THE GREAT EVENT. BUT IT RAINED.

It was a great day and it was all rolling like - bread and butter. The cars were decorated. The buses were in place. The haldi to the hotel went like the fish enters its shole. The decorators were having a field trying their last bits at what they were calling a miracle of their lives. The bride and the groom suddenly looked like some hollywood arrivals and the rest of the family like a reception party, apologising for all the little reck happening hither thither. But as usual time passed away, and all loaded in the best of attires they could have managed, boarded every possible vehicle in the vicinity to leave for the Church.
And, then something started to become dark. As dark as the person we at times carry within ourselves. As dark as the polish of the show. As dark as the coffin itself. The sky was dark. Winds started to blow, the cars entered cathedral, and it became pitch dark outside.
We all entered the Cathedral in - line as - is dreamt - by some - Anonymous Rule Makers who suddenly appear on such occasions. We were made to walk behind a group of such people, who, were always there, to create all fuss, make all mockery, but, finally - had the votes on their side, that when it shall be done, they shall be - there.
The bridal procession reached the end of the Church, ignoring every single person available in the Church, and finally when we looked at the back, it was kind of - Almost Packed - usually contradictory - to what the Church is habitually looking like - on those lonesome Sundays.
The priests were all seated in their seats and at their regular bests. Robes so occasionally worn, that God Himself, couldn't understand so as to what for have they been given the appointments for.
In any case, more Hindus than Christians - another unique feature of the marriage, the guests all gasped for their - share of the ritualistic pie.
I was all glazed in a brown suit, I think - she (the special one got attracted to - and gave me a hand-shake I'll remeber for the rest of my life) - so again my labour was paid.
The Ceremony went veyr well. And, on the contrary who was bothered about it, because in India - Christian marriages are shorter than the "Make-Up Sessions" of the bride and the groom. So looking good is important - whereas - God is somewhere away from the Church.
But, I was surprised to see many an escapist suddenly becoming so active on one such day. It was their love and gratitude for the man they have all been co-existing with, or was it the fear - of the Lord - they for the first time of their live's see come down in full glory, to tell them where they all belong.
The crackers went beserk. The car-decorations were - shambled. The drum n dholak - couldn't even pitch because somewhere the - Sky was rumbling and every inch of the soil was being shaken and torn apart. Why did it happen, and what one can learn from the day's experience is something I am still pondering over. But, I have personally never seen such a mamoth debacle. It was a Tsunami, that swept away almost all desires, all decoration of the - place - over which - The family - I stay in - was fighting and torn over for almost 1 month in continuation.
My parents called it a jigsaw puzzle. I was continuously told not to be a part of it all, atleaast not in an active way, and what lay infront of it was a barren, and empty venue of marriage, with most of the things shifted to a Smaller yet more secure, hall in the College.
When I entered - after almost three hours of the - Event - when we left for the Church, I was amazed to see what God has done - to the place. The passages which would have been strewn in flowers, were messed up with muck. The stage, that should have rolled the whole city, was packed into a small podium. And, what could have been the marriage of the decade became an affair of a few evenings. It was all done out. All chair were made to lie face down looking like a thousand fools bowing and telling God - We thought we would disobey everything you had told us, and become heroes today, but alas ! What have you done. The side- counters, all tilted to stack, telling their own woes. Alas ! what mess the Devil had made. It was shock and horror at the same time. And, their was in the walls of the hall, a community which had never listened to God, and today they were partners in paying of the debts. Such days shake a person out of his senses, I was told - God - Loves all - Specially those who love him.
I entered the smaller version of the pandal, and saw Thousands of them sitting and waiting for the - Bread and Ale - to be thrown in their faces, and so that they may - go - happy and filled. What little mockery of the splendid life God gave us.
Although I saw a major change in a Person, who till that day - defied every thing God told him to do. He was the king today, he was the beggar. He did every little bit, that was supposed to make the function meaningful. And he did everything. I don't know why God did this to him, specially when he was ready for repentance. But, such are God's works, we can't equate them in our balance scales.
I tried every bit, I could have done - to make it - as attractive as possible. I saw a few - hard irons melt, I saw a few - scratch pins grow ninto stars, and I also saw a few - who Were As Blind as Blind they Were Before. But, I couldn't do anything to tell them that - it is not in the make-up boxes - that God is. I felt so weak.
But,
In all this let me share one thing, I remeber a silver-lining. The silver-lining of a hand - that broght me back from the dark on this day.
She is a powerful woman. She is a strong person. And, I have seen her grow - at the time I was growing myself. And, I was told that - God wants me in Delhi and not in Mumbai ..... and if I do this - Gold shall give me Gold - God shall give me Sona ..................
I know times and circumstances never remain the same, but those who try and do things differently, and make a time frame, God tells them the paths - that if they traverse, they can just reach the - Goal of their journey.
I don't say - we are perfect, but at times we feel we are nearly perfect. I felt a little like that on the marriage day of my sister.
For else, I can't say - What God told them and what they felt like .... but for me - God made me see - The bright Sun in the middle of a very dark sight .....
And it was lovely ....
I don't owe to hurt or distirb any person hereby,and pray to God He may give you that peace and equilibrium you so desperately want to achieve in life......

A beloved friend. A faithful brother. And a person, who would make a difference ....

Do keep coming back. And I shall be writing some oodles of news and events for you to relish and cherish ....
A sincere suggestion - don't travel via Bihar in the next couple of Months ..... The Govt. is fully supporting the naxalite movement ..... This is what we call - Hypocracy in Democracy....

When you feel you can but you know you can't

Dear Friends,
I'm sure you're on this disgusting machine called computers eventually to break the rut of - the daily cores - bacchon ko ghumane le jana, ghar ke liye sabun namak lana, wife ko doctor ke paas le jana. All these things even - that fat - pooky donkey - Called - 'Lala Bhai ! at the end of the road can also do.' If I start doing all these things - "The what is the difference between me & that elephant willed - pooky - Lala Bhai" ??? Head is reeling by now, How does the Puncture Tyre know so much ? - Then understand by this - I am also made of the same - legitimate / 2nd grade / extremely tensile rubber - you are made of. Tyre Tyre Bhai Bhai.

Now the punch -
Yesterday , I went on to meet, one of my Oldest flames - as in terms of - Companionship !! I'm sure we have kind of been - in touch - for now, like 3 years or so.
The immense bond of kinship has translated into :-

1. My sending her - some illegal - robust sms's - usually to which I'm also - pressed to receive - some - She has been able to send.


2. Her suddenly appearing once, at my residence, with another (But even a little more cute) - Colleague of hers. I was literally - betrothed - to her - When she did this - And in return, I even started - to write her mails (the frequency being - 20 days - to every mail).


3. Finally that day came - When I get an invitation from her - To attend her brother's wedding, and I am like - "Ki chahe agle haftey mein - Tuesday aye ya na aye, I am going to attend this marriage" and "Ladke ko kya dena hai - nahi !!! is all so impotent""Ladki ko kya sab kuch diya ja sakta hai - is of utmost Importance" - I gave her a magnet sticker - implying - Jindagi bhar mujhse - Sticker ki tarah - Chipki rehna !!! But, she definitely - thought - I am mad - and that too, to thet level - Ki Marriage Party Mein Magnet.


4. Lastly, the day of reckoning came - When Me , My Head and My Whole Body - got together - to go to the - Lady's house, and , Believe me ! Its not a house, it a HOUSE. I understood - I am not romancing the Princess here, but rather - the Queen herself, is on the taking. I am given a warm welcome to the "Drawing Room" as big as a domestic swimming pool. Some wonderful sweets are brought and kept infront of me, and lastly after that meekest possible happy Holi - I am there infront of her. A duke, from a - Vacated Island, with nothing but his smiles - Infront of the - Queen, who has just - chucked the IIMC exam, and made - half of Allahabad look like - "Jagram Ki Mithai Jo Bachti Nahi Hai - Adhey daamo mein kyun mil rahi hai" ???? - 1000 people lining up to buy, 1/4 of a kg - for themselves.

- I often think this when lying on my - kingly bed - When I'm hardest hit - by Loneliness, why do people have to think they are different - when actually God has created everyone, so different. Can I cook - the same matar paneer, my mother can cook. Or my mother can cook the same matar paneer, I can cook. Or - my wife can cook, the same matar paneer, my ex-gf used to cook, or my ex-gf can cook the same matar paneer, my Widower friend used to cook. Life is like this, even - the same cloth from the same - 'Roll' looks so different - When it is made to hand from the "Springs / Rods and Woods" - Every curtain in the house gets a different texture, different tone, and even different Feel to it, once its hung there - for the Time - of 1 year at our homes. No, matter what you do, what you put, or where you bang the Head, the curtain shall not change, When we can't change a curtain from changing - Whats the deal to change - The People Who Love Us !!! what is it , that we shall achieve !!!

OK

Now, some quick - recap - so as to how my life is moving these days -

• I wake up at 10:00 am around - to see - the Sun is up, the birds are - already - Dancing, and the Dogs are having a wonderful time.


• I take a bath - at my Bathroom, and think, Ki yehi mera sangam, yehi meri reti, yehi - Sarawati hai ............. Yeh ! Meri mati hai


• Then, off - to the Dining table - to find - The Eggs have been demolished, and the Omlet is ready - (No not the French or the Cheese) - the poor Indian Cousin - 'The rookha sookha bina pyaaz bina mircha - wala - Omlet' .... Actually many people in India - Use many such - Nouns - a adjectives to explain there's woes - Eg


• Nashtey mein kya hai - "Omlate" - It means - "Oh Lord ! I am Late."


• Bread and butter - "Das Baj Gaye - Abhi Utha Nahi Shutter."


• Paratha and Anda - "Loan returning ki last date thi kal - Ab milega - Kilo ke bhav mein danda"


• Doodh aur makhan - "Today I am the special recruit in the field on that lonely trip" - "Company bana rahi hai mujhe - Dhakkan"


• Aj Sirf Dalmoth Hai (My mother's favourite) - Aj akaal padney ki poori sambhavna hai - Subah, halke cheetey hai, dupahar mein - Humidity rahegi (sabke pet mein) ............. raat ko Ghamasaan !!! (Khali pletein - unmey - Sookhi rotiyan, aur - Woh Hastein - Hue - karele ki sabji) ........... Kismat acchi hui - to karele ke bhai - Khekse bhi milega......... (Ever been to Appu Ghar in rains) --- with all mud being slung at you, and all that rotten - Matar Kulcha - in the metro (rail) --- All liers would play the flute -------- "Aj to Appu Ghar - Mein Maja Aa Gaya - Andar To Jo Tha Woh Tha - Bahar Aye - To Mja Aur Bhi Dugana Ho Gaya" -- 'Ha Ha Ha' you're trapped - n Ready to uthao the majaa next time - with your Innocent pack of Majaa Lootney Wala's (family).

Now its time for some matar party - I can feel the heat of the matar enter everyone's stomach ..... So I need to wind this one up, But believe me - I have seen the The Animal Planet with utmost vigour and immense - Interest yesterday --- and come to the conclusion, the The Willed Beast (not the Wild Beast) ----- look ! you always thot your English is good. But you were wrong - It is pronounced as 'Willed Beast' ....... ans yes ! they are smarter than, Many of the "Willed Beasts" - we stay - in Company at our Homes.

Regards,

PM

My Love Life ! My Lonely Wife ! My Gradual Strife ! - Part 2

Dear Friends,
I'm sure you are in that phase of health - when - you are able to sit 100% on - Those greatseats of Power - God has - abundantly showered on you - a).The ceramic seat besides the dining room,
b). The scooter seat - on that Iron Junk - called Bajaj, c).The broken seat - Your place at office - kabhi alvida na kehna d). The Theatre seat - you much Popcorn & Cola -with the newly discovered - Atom Bomb - of your Office ....................... oho ! So many seats of Power.
So, it is always good to get you - come and stare at my - Blog, like - Hungary Soldiers - who didn't know - which "world power" - they exactly were supporting from the deadly axis to the deadly allies of World War -2 , but were fighting - incessantly, for glory (But ! For Whose Glory )? - Glory always remains with God.

NOW BACK TO WHERE WE BEGAN - THE STORY OF THE KITTEN I COULDN'T TAME IN COLLEGE !
- I MEAN THE SAME A-SQUARE - I MENTIONED IN THE LAST BLOG - OF MINE.
.................................................
I had this habit in school, where-in - I used to try and sit, in the first two rows - preferably in the class - as I thought - guys who do this learnt their lessons better than others. But the truth was - Contrary -
We had this "Mathematics Teacher" who was David Boon, for me - all those days of education. I was dead scared of his entry into the class. My throat was always - dry. My heart-beats went - to 120 from 70-80 (norms), and I always - prayed to God, If it is my turn - to get - The Jhannata - God - May That Day Be Today. I always believed in getting "My Dues" early. But, for some reason I never got the jhannata. I even remained - thankful to this man - He Knew maths better than AryaBhatt or Pythagoras - then, maybe a re-incarnation.
Secondly, there was this - Physics Teacher - called Mrs. Mukh.....dhay, oho - The Clone of Indira Gandhi - calling upon - Operation Blue Star almost every day on all those - Empty Vessels - who had no - Chemical Reactions -------------------------- anywhere in their body ---------------- Leave apart the brain. (I remember my friend - Sarvartha here - he was a favorite - of this Lady Killer), and my dear - friend, was served the hottest dishes from her platter, but later - on - the guy succumbed to - the atrocities. I didn't.
Now, the real reason, I always sat on this chair, which was - Just behind - all these Wonders of maths and chemistry - was that - I somehow - found this seat to be very lucky for me. I never got 'BHS registered Jhannatas' ever in these seats. Some sort of a lucky charm.
I had, this Bengali - girl in the class - Who could write poetry - like Shakespeare - rather - Even better than Him, I used to wonder - why didn't she - Go and do some - Eng. Lit. Course - from some famous - Art College of US or UK. But, this is life - Its full of mysteries.

Now, this A Square - had a something very special about her, she had this fetish of one colour on her:

1. Whenever it was a - teacher asking for a red pen - my A-Square had one.
2. Whenever - I was able to see - her skimpy - yet - Shiny - Tiffin Box ------ it was a red color.
3. Whenever - I got to see- the Inside of her Geometry Box - it was full of red color ...........
4. And, the most elated part of it - My Dear A Square actually hailed from the RED HOUSE.
5. She lastly went on to become the Red House - Vice-Captain or I think - Vice-Head Girl but something.
6. So you can well understand - what a Red T-shirt wearing girl on a red cycle . having some red on her lips . cud mean - when she is eating from that red colored Tiffin. Believe me - it can send - Japan - to support - America - if the fight is - Re-Fought. (I think u know what the pun here is).

Almost 1 year passed, and I found myself, playing all possible cricket with my Desi Gang of Pandas .. Listening to all possible music - My friend Yasho - had to give to me, and also, those - Special episodes of .Tempo Fighting - I learnt in the last days of my school life, I was waiting for that - silver line moment - I shall say, what I wanted to say - for all those long days, and longer nights - I was having - then.

Those were exam days - 11 th standard - Here was a Christian Boy (I think the only one in the whole of Eastern UP) - Who could speak Hindi .- better than many - Brahmin, Pandit guys ... and that moment came

A Square - Calls Me Up - To Ask - Do you have - some idea of what can come in the Prelims - exams of Hindi ?

And, there I was - like that sparrow, who - when asked where her house was - just smiled and said - Let's Share The Nest ! ------------- Dear A Square - "I think - my mind is not where it should be" ........................ and do you know why ?

A Square: Where is your mind ?

I Say : I am in love with a girl of my Class - and I really like her so much - that I can't tell you. I really - like that kid in her. She looks like an angel to me ..... and I want to tell her this.

(After a long pause of 1 day - just 1 week before the Prelim exams - The Phone Rings)

A Square : (sobs of a girl all over the phone) !! ---------- n then the monotone - "I know who that girl is - in the class - and I also know, that who - is that person ----- Arey Prakul ! I think - I am the only girl to whom you actually talk - only" "But alas ! My faith has left me. I don't think - I can do it now" "I still am a kid .................... why do you see a kid in me ------- (sobs)"

- I think - my first taste - of "bad phrasing" had already started ........................... it took me years to come over this mistake. And, I never told any cute looking funny looking girl - I see a kid in her. My innocence was stolen from me. And I felt - like - "An Un-Inhabited Island"

This event changed my life, forever - and - I feel - what no - Good English Teacher could have taught me - My A Square - taught me in a flash..... acchi angrezi bolo - Lalu !!!

- I don't know where she is now, and Now - I sort of feel, that I don't need to know this even - I have a girl-friend , I love her very much, but - for all those - days in gloom and loneliness, why did GOD give me this curse - of - Mis-Understanding ------------------ specially -- with that person, I sort - started to connect with - for the first time in my life.

GRADUAL STRIFE - Hence, for every human, is the fight he fights with his own - fears, under-estimations, and groans (that don't exist) ...... but are there in the mind. We should do - what we want to do, and, not We are made to do. Freedom - is from God, and, Any Efforts - to curb it - Can End in Dangerous - Outcomes.

My story of life moves on and on, and I'm sure - if I am that - Movie Star - I so often feel in me. I shall be there. I shall be there with her. I shall be there with them.

My first Film-Fare shall be her - endless support.

My first Oscar shall be their - hardwork and labour.

- With one last piece of advice - I would like to leave my readers here. You don't necessarily fall prey to the evils other do to you - But - there are forces - within - you too- That can surely - But curse you, and Kill you. Avoid them, and talk to God every night.

Me and my dearest friend and (to an extent - my Mentor) - Mr. Jacob - did build a Chapel on the campus, and the fruits are clear -

1. Mr.Jacob has risen from a heart sickness.
2. I have risen from the depths of - doubting syndrome and also my sister is about to get married.
3. Also, Mr. Jacob's son - is very much in Love with a cute girl - So - the Chapel was worth it.

DO SOMETHING FOR GOD. GOD SHALL DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU. :)

I would like to end here. I need some sleep.

with regards,

PM

My Love Life ! My Lonely Wife ! My Gradual Strife !

Dear Friends,

I have chosen a topic here, which every Indian man finally dreams to accomplish - one day in his very long (actually insecure), very exciting (actually ab boriat bardasht nahi hoti) and very eventful (pehle baap gaya / phir mataji / phir chachaji ..... har terve din - ek aur tervi ... kind stuff) ..........but very happening life.

BUT FIRST THE PUNCH - Today I had this middle aged Professor friend of mine (the tensile puncture tyre ---- as I'll now mention to him as) came and sat infront of me - and almost after a full half an hour of dhulayi by the College Management - the tyre tells me -

"Are Yaar Dekho - Mere Liye Jindagi Bahut Aasan Hai - Jyata Much Much Nahi

- Mera ek hi sapna hai ! - Just look at the Punch with utmost care now"

THE SAPNA - 'EK HINDUSTANI BIBI HO !! LONDON MEIN APNA EK MAKAAN HO !! AUR PAISA HO - AMERICA KA !! - Bas'

Lets analyze what he meant - "Dekho saale s::@r kahin ke - Meri pant utar gayi hai - Management ke samne - Tumne jo naya naya bean bag rakha tha Staff Room mein -uspe lot lot ke Mera dimaag dahi ho gaya hai ! Ab is be-ijjati - ke lifafe se mukti ke liye - Mein Sochta Hoon - mere paas" - EK HINDUSTANI CIGARETTE HO !!! USME AAG LAGI HO !!! AUR JAB MEIN USE - sotun - 2 - AISA LAGE !! - America aur London - dono - Jagah Ki Ladkiyon Ke Saath - Mei Ek Baar Mein - 3##$m (a very popular tag - most Indians never get a chance to actually do it in practice - but see it on those (taliyaan) .... sites)(All puncture tyres are smiling). KAR RAHA HUN !!

I don't know why people chose a profession - in which they - Only become like that burning cigarette - Which - Holds no good for the "Smoker" yet he feels - I'm not a joker !!! though the world knows ur truth.

TODAY I SAW - HOW A BAD - ASS - FOOL - CAN - TALK ABOUT - LIVING IN LONDON - SMOKING AMERICAN PIPES - AND HAVING - PRETTY INDIAN BABES AS HIS WIVES - WHEN ACTUALLY - HE - is not sure - if he wore - his 'c/@d&;' inside his pant.

But, All my apologies to such fools of self-destruction, because they - r like those - "Last and wretched soldiers who DON'T BOARD THE SHIP - Because they thot it wise TO DIE ON THAT LONELY ISLAND - FOR THAT FEAR - THAT THIS SHIP SHALL - SINK"

Its not true friend, that every ship you'll board has to sink !! There are times - when - God loses - That is where - these flash floods, these plane crashes, these Tsunami's and these Chicken Guniya's - start to take over. BUT TO ALL GOOD MEN, GOD NEVER IS BAD.

- Now My Topic - My Love Life ! My Lonely Wife ! My Gradual Strife !

- To some it might even sound a bit - pessimistic , but for all practical and level decisions - I have taken till date in my life - This is a very good Topic.

- Let me take the next few minutes to explain what I want to write here -

- Most Indians don't have a love life - they have a 'bugged' life.

- Most Indians don't have a lonely wife - they have a 'only' wife (for some also this - Motherly Wife)

- Most Indians don't have a strife (Forget the gradual strife) - Bhai ! Subah - Bas ek -sukhi bread kha ke - Ganda pani pee ke - Tiffin - mein - Dal moth le ke - Tooti hui bas mein baith ke - Paath Shaal - jaata hun ! Kaisi Paathshaala Hai ?? Yahan ! Dushala Bhi Nahi Dete ? Kaisa - Gadbad Ghotala Hai - Yaha - Khana Bhi Nahi Dete (Indian kids don't go to school for Education - Literacy or any of these racy English slangs) - but, all for fasting and feasting.

LET ME EXPLAIN THE "GR8 MID DAY MEAL SCHEME TO YOU"

- ek garib aur corrupt teacher, jisne 2 hafton se is school ka chehra nahin dekha tha - aaj baniye ki dukaan se - 5 kilo - daliya ! chura ke - uda ke - uska halua - bana ke - Apne School Aya Hai !

- Galti se jo bacche aj school aye hai ! Copy - pencil - ityadi kuch bhi saath nahi laye hai - Unke bhole chehron ko dekh ke - use apne bacchon - ki yaad aa jati hai. Phir woh ek ek kar ke - jab - Dushala / Mala / aur 'famous taala' de chukta hai - to phir - Bacchon Ko Awaaz Deta Hai -

- Lallu ! Idhar Ao ! Beta ! Daliya ka halua le jao - Jeher Nahi Hai - Lallu replies - master sahab aap hi kha lo - 'Aj hamara - chauthvi ka pandrava vrat hai'

- Pappu ! Idhar Ao ! Beta ! Daliya Ka Murabba Aya Hai ! Le Lo Pappu cries - master sahab aap hi kha lo - aj 'naag devta ka chatvi wala purab disha wala vrat hai'

-Krishna ! Idhar Ao ! Beta ! Chori Ki Gayi Daliya Ka Swad - 2 - Chack -Le Mere Lalu !! Krishna replies - master sahab aap hi kha liyo ! maine - pura cannaster bhar ke - Polio Ki Dawai Pi Li Hai ......................

NO DOUBT - WRITER LIKE - ANITA DESAI - WROTE A HORRID TOPIC LIKE - "FASTING AND FEASTING" - ON HER IDEAS - OF AN IMAGINARY - INDIA.

Don't Believe Me ? - This Book - For Its Failure and Utter Disgust - Has Won - Many A Golden Goblin Awards. Just read the following passage from one of the reviews I read

CLICK ON THE LINK TO GO TO THE REVIEW - http://www.manfrommatunga.com/fasting.htm

HENCE - I'M SURE - YOU KNOW - WHY MID DAY MEAL SCHEMES NEVER PAY IN COUNTRIES LIKE INDIA !!
BACK TO MY MAIN TOPIC
- Love life of an average Indian lover varies from 2 years to 2 days. Indian men are good, at falling in love - with the woman they have met - around 2 minutes back and thanks to the "Women they live with ! Although don't know much about" - "All thanks to the Great India Soap Opera Nasha" - Ajkal hindustani gharon mein Chulhe nahi jaltey, Dulhe nahi miltey, Luley nahi paltey - kyunki - "HAR HINDUSTANI MAA - AB - BAA BAN CHUKI HAI ! HAR BIBI - TULSI VIRANI / PARVATI AGARWAL BAN CHUKI HAI"
And the gr8 'K' letter for all Indian families has become - 'Kabhi kabhi milne waley kamjor aur kifayat pasand families jo ab kabhi nahi mil patey hai kyunki - Saas ! Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi - ka time ho gaya hai Lallu'
- So in short , The Indian male waits for the next 'Saat' - janams - When he shall - Finally meet - his 'Beloved' - the woman who shall love him !! (and not all those "K" letter words).

Talk About The Lonely Wife ::
Most wives in India, are so lonely - in their stonely, and moan-ly - Apartments that - They - prefer to stay out all the time - They get - away - from their - Highly ignorant husbands.
Suno ! Aj bazaar se atey waqt ! Paneer Le - Ana !
(Husband man mein) - Paneer ki jagah - Janjeer - na le aun ! Gale mein latka ke - Dono kud jatey hai - Chat Se - Jeb mein chawanni bachi nahi hai ..... aur she wants to eat paneer.
Suno Bagal Waley - Mr. Taneja Vaisi Nazar Se Dekhtey Hai - (Husband Bathroom Mein) - Saala Taneja ! Lucky Hai ! Itna time to hai - ki doosron ki Bibiyon ka khayal to rakhta hai. Meri naukri mein to mei kisi ka khayal hi nahi rakh pata. (Agli Society Ki Meeting Mein ! Taneja ka naam - Chukidaar ! Ke liye recommend kar deta hun !!!) .........All poor residents can save some money !!!

And Now About - The Gradual Strife -
'I think this blog has become the longest blog of my (not salivating) arey bhai ! blogging career'.
Gradual Strife - I mean that - innate desire - to meet one's long planned goal. It can be meeting that already dead and gone, never married girl-friend of your's - you always 'kissed and lied - marry me', or that 'Bank Account - that died automatically - When you decieted your American employer to pay 4 not coming to Office - the rascal - played DEVIL to your Bank Account' ....
Some may have this desire to buy a new "Maruti Dezire" it has a Z instead of a S
S - for superior comfort //// scientific innovations /// slim body
Z - for zulu - type styling /// zebra cut sea covers /// zabardast - engine ki awaaz (one dreams - ki baba ! ki woh - Ghoda-Gadi badiya thi - tyre to nahi phat-ta tha) ......................................... :)
But, to this gradual strife -
'Let me write something' -----
- This is a story when I was in School, and our then Principal - Mr. C. V. I.......s was struck by a meteorite. The man who otherwise score 99/100 in all other Principles - did something that makes me write this !
In a class of - 45 odd - Loggerheads - IIT dubbed, and PMT scrubbed - testosterone charged - Male Maniacs - of 10 years - Deprivation of the 'Female Company' - Mr. C. V. I....s - suddenly - pushed in the - The Most Cute Looking Chicks of Allahabad city, jise tab tak hum log sirf - uske mash-hoor Ghanta-Ghar //// Children's Park Zoo //// aur //// famous - Kaloo Kachori ke liye hi jantey they -------------------- ab hum they - aur hamarey samne
- Allahabad Ke Sabse Rasiley aur Bharpoor - parivaron - Ki atyant - akarshak evan khichao paida kar dene wali - Atyant Sundar - Behad Kifayati aur poori Tarah Se Majboot - LADKIYAN - JO - IS SCHOOL - KO AB SCHOOL - SE JYADA - KISI - BOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR - KI US - UNDER 19 - LOVE STORY - KA HUNTING GROUND BANANE JA RAHI THI !!! Jisme har teacher - sirf facilitator hota hai ! Har friend (4 males) - sirf dushman ! Har chaprasi - sirf - ghoos-khor Khabri aur har Main Faculty / Ya Dean - Bhish - Pitamah jo sab kuch samajh to sakta - hai - Par baba ! Dekh nahi sakta.
- We had this one little - letter - in our Class (the famous class of 12-A in BHS) - and everyone used to call her - A2 (Actually A Square). She wore - the tiniest skirts in the city. Her hair were trimmed as if - Har din subah - woh baal kaat ke ati ho. He bag - was a special - Post-Master ka dibba - and - always - Some tattered book - Snuggled out of it. Her tiffin - I doubt - she brought any. Every boy - was ready to make that - "Maa Ki Roti Achar - Ka Sacrifice" for her. But she only had what she wanted to. Her "house colour" was red. She was not exactly what we call - friendly types - But, the pompish - types - "Ki dekho ! Meri Sab Se Dosti Hai" ....... "And to top it all - What carried her on top - was the most important - Part of my life then" -
There were two vehicles -
1). A Broken TVS Champ - Moped (Mostly under repair)
2). A red color - girl's cycle - She rode - with her bag behind (Looking like the real - Samantha Fox)
- I often waited under the - sickening and lonely - but always awake - Peepal trees in my School, as she would drive in - on her - Cycle. The cycle gave a tring tring and, all such - guys with lost family hopes - would jump - atop - to look at this Miracle - of sorts - arrive in the school.

My encounters with her - were limited to - Chemistry Labs / Break Timing Meetings / Then Later A Coaching I Think I Only Joined For Her / At Times - In The Free Periods - which both of us - Like Waited All Our Lives for.
- I don't know - but in her - I found that kind of a solace -
- A lost soldier would find in a 'broken yet functioning' - transciever
- A drowning man - would find in a handfull of molasses
- A hurt bird - would find - in that lonely corner of that Front Porch
- A roudy dog - would find - in that - Bone - chewed - almost thousand times before him, but still - because of it - he feels like a dog.
- I shared a relation with my dream - that - was - A never ending - Compassion. Days passed, Nights swept, months closed by, and wirh every passing - tick of the clock - My mystery about her - took forms and shapes the Mind is so scared to create. I saw her weep, I saw her smile, I loved her, I left her, I lived with her, and - We even - Made a house and Bought our new - Maruti 800, but all in my Dreams.
I never chose to tell her - What I felt within - What a guy - who has lived for 18 years in a - Room of darkness, all stuffed with poisonous gases, could feel on meeting a breeze of pleasure, like her. I waited for every morning to come asap, so that I can go to my school, only to see - if she has come, or not. She might not talk to me, She might not never sit next to me, She might never accept all gifts the - other male students - had to offer her. But, I had to see her. This was Life 4 me. This was love.
The days she wouldn't come - I would try and enquire from - all who sort of knew her . My tiffins were unfinished. My classes all junk, and wastage. I even thought of dropping - the idea to waste my Time - at an IIT preparation class I had attended. The donkey who used to teach us - Never let go of us - without that - Bull-shit - Beetel Masala - that was so regular in his mouth.
"Ye Bataiye ! Ap Log - Nashtey Mein - Sine - Ke Upar Cos Lagakar - use Theeta kratey hai ki nahi" - Aisa na karne se - "Apko - Bablo Shaka - A Ke - Kha Jayega" - Why do parents have to hire such cronies - to tell you - "Beta ! Ab Hame Koi Phikar Nahi - Tum Maro Ya Jiyo"
But,
This bridge of "imaginative faith" - was broken that day - When - cupid - set my - tongue on fire, and I - did - what - any - Blind Man - Blinded By Love would jump to do.
I PROPOSED MY A-SQUARE. MY LIFE WAS ABOUT TO TAKE A TURN. MY HOPELESSNESS - WAS ABOUT TO GROW INTO - BODHI-SATVA. MY STRUGGLES OF LIFE - INTO JOYS OF REDEEMING.
BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS -
I was told - I was blind. I was told - I was wrong. I was told - I was asking for something that was not mine. I weeped at the phone. The phone didn't speak. I asked her some mundane questions - My A - Square - never spoke. My struggles in my school - with all those "Stereotypes" of IITs and Mono-Phones of PMT came to an end.
- I don't know exactly what day it was - but, once I got over with her. I was - actually all taken up by her.
- All - her progress reports - became - my Project Reports.
-All her, transfer reports - became - My Migration Certificates.
- All her - Brilliance Scholarships - became my - Character Certificates ..............
- My world broke when she left Allahabad ..........................
- My world further broke when she left India ..........................
- And, Today - there are times - I feel - Like that lone survivor after - the doomsday - Waiting to meet God and ask him -
'Meri Watt Kyun Lagayi Thi Tumne' .................................. 'Yeh ! Jantey Hue - Ki Mai - Kitna Pareshan Hoon' .............................................. 'Kyun unhi logon ko - Jo tumhe sab se jyada mantey hai - tum aisi giri hui Sajaye dete ho' .......................................................kyun .. !!

- I KNOW WHAT MOST PUNCTURED TYRES LIKE ME - WOULD THINK - AFTER READING SUCH BLOGS OF MINE - WHAT A - SCR......@$# up life it is - Finally.
But, friends, believe me - it is after events like these, and storms like these -
We understand - We are made in - Life - for a -Purpose - bigger than - These.
We are made to conquer - World - much more - Beautiful, Extra-Ordinary and Gigantic - than the One's we reside in.
- Punar-janm ke barey mei nahi janta - par agar hota hai - To meri yehi - Pratigya hai - "Is baar ka yeh stay wala part - plz censor kar dena - Prabhu ! I would like to make my - Original Mugl-e-Azam in 3d ////////// Digital Colours and Dolby Digital - Soundtrack"

I would like to end this part here ...................... but do wait for - my - final part - of the story - when I write again .....................

Till then with a sick leg .....
All chums
n Regards,
PM