Dear Freinds,
Today was that day, when me and My few loved freinds (Actually after this I'll only use tyres - Remember - Puncture Tyres for freinds !) ........ went to a Bar, in one of the very Paush hotels of the city. Let me say rather - it too - Has earned the Reputation of a Punctured Hotel among all the Hotels that started with it. It has this - speciality of making - Paneer in Schezuan Sauce, and Chicken in Haldi pani, and Mock-Tails that look like Nariyal Pani, and lastly , Desserts - that Literally make you feel - You have come to a desert land in the middle of a Fertile City.
(no pun intended) .... and , all messed up marriages of Unhealthy punctured tyres of Allahabad mostly happen in this great Pandora of - Get-To-Get-Hers.(synonym for get-togethers).
- But alas ! This was that day - We had never ever dreamt in our lives when - Shikari khud yahan shikaar ban gaya.
- In this story there are three tyres - Elder Tyre (the father), Middle Tyre (Me), and the Young Tyre (the father's son).
Location - The Beautiful Puncture Tyre Hotel next to Softy Corner, in Civil Lines.
The Artists - The old guard (at entry - also punctured with white mustachoes)
The Chinese looking waiter (Waiter 1 - Who Would Serve you all China Food)
The Kankani-Maar waiter (Waiter 2 - lil old, and, an expert at Push Marketing)
The Manager (The Sheep of Sacrifice - in the inner circle of bar - sombre fellow)
The Gist - Never go to drink when you've left your VISA CARD in a scan machine to follow up on an e-commerce order from Bangalore actually coming from Hong-Kong, Secondly, never - order Chinky Masala Aloo Fry ever in any hotel (it looks like the Negro brother of MacD's french fries !!!)
The Moral - After drinking people become sober, is a myth. Actually, after drinking our Pockets become sober, and hence - we again become Insober.
---- Ok ! Now The Main Plot .....
'After almost a wait of 2 or so months' - Myself (The Middle Tyre) and The Elder Tyre (The Father) - planned for a trip to Beer Jugs and Vodka. At the palnned time, and the planned venue I reached ten minuted late. But to my utter confusion - The Elder Tyre world known for 'Punctuality and Demure' was missing out of the Chair. So, I took out my cell-phone and rang him up. He in closed smiles said - that I'm on my way - and it should take me another ten minutes.
On recahing the tyre told me - that the bike he drove - had no Petrol, and His miserly Younger Tyre, had done this wretchedness with him. "So then what did you do ?" - Was my question, and he chuckled. He said I made him come here, and made him do the Refilling. (An eye for an eye kind of a concept). And then he narated - the "TATVA" of his karma to me - Ki is tarikey se woh - Aj seekh jayega, ki Gaadi kisi ko dene se pehle - hamesha usme petrol hona chahiye. "I really admired him for this Fore-sight" and then thought Why did God you never gave me sucha father ?
In any case - While we struggled to finish - all that we had ordered and all that was served to us, the 3rd Tyre, the Culprit - appears on the scene.
Having learnt his lesson, a grand reception was out-poured on the Youg Tyre, and the tyre too swelled up with desire.
Now the punch of the story - After another half hour, or so, when our torso's became hard, and we had Posted our flag of Victory on this Mountain of courage and Social Wretchedness - our 2nd Waiter came on the scene and presented the bill.
Oops ! The bill was INR 1050/- only (And we were - Like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 3 about to jump from the 44th floor - just, unfortunately for us - without His - Dan Uncle's - techno widgetary he Has)(We only had forks and spoons)(And, to top it - Schezuan Sauce).The elder tyre - took out INR 450/- (that was a dud). The middle tyre (myself) - took out Rs.220/- (INR 1x100 INR 2x50 and INR 2x10) - chiller grandpa (that was a bigger dud) Now came the time of the younger Tyre (returning after one Punishment of Bad Planning) ... His time for Revenge had come (the Elder Tyre was now the Bigger Victim of Bad Planning) .... With all the spotlights on Him ... the silence ruled. The waiter waited his chance to glory. Teh guard his. The manager his. The younger tyre took out his card .... after much Consultation , becoz - the poor card had - Only INR 1200/- left in it. The monetory intelligence in me sparked and I made a decision - Let us make the Younger Tyre pay for us. And the card was placed in the leather flapper. We waited like gamblers waiting once the die is cast - becoz the chances were even the card would be rejected. And then that story of Punctured Tyres Hanging on The Shabby Walls of Puctured Hotels (all of us have seen it once atleast - ok in Hollywood movies) ... and our heart-Beats - gained.
All the spirit was out and the Mantra - jaan bache to lakhon paey, Card chale to ghar ko jaen - Began ringing all over. It was 10 minutes. And then, the waiter returned - Thank You Sir ! Ho gaya ! We felt tera to ho Gaya - Hamara - Poora Ho Gaya ! -
And Now The Final Moral of The Story -
As the Elder Tyre narated - the "TATVA" of his karma to me - Ki is tarikey se woh - Aj seekh jayega, ki Gaadi kisi ko dene se pehle - hamesha usme petrol hona chahiye.
The younger tyre Must have envisoned - ki Party kisi ko dene se pehle - hamesha denewaley ki jeb mein paisa hona chahiye.
The Middle Tyre Learnt - ki VISA CARD kisi ko dene se pehle - hamesha usme credit hona chahiye.
And lastly this Humongous legend of Three Tyres who wanted to tecah each other - Sahrp Lessons of Life, ended in a Pot-Pourri ofLessons taught. Like one of my Professors telling me once - Ki Ke Bahar Dekhne Se Amplitude Samajh mein ata hai..... became a living reality today for me.
- All I learnt from today - is never Rush up to a Desert Hotel with Blue lights - to have a beer - Because, behind all shimmering lights lies the - Voluptous Desire of The Devil - to eat you up Roasted.
- I understand all my readers are adults and hence understand that humor is the key in the article - otherwise - alcohol consumption is definitely endagering to health.
Finally all the three tyres parted on their two-wheelers.Butterflies in the stomach. Drowning in the Pond of - Beeeeeeeer ..............
with Love ...... (do leave me comments) ...they would be encouraging ...........
PM
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